In the era of masking vacation days under the guise of being sick, I’ve noticed a workplace trend that’s gaining popularity. To wit, here’s a sample “I’m sick” email, circa 2015:

Hi all, 

Not feeling well today, will be staying home. See you tomorrow. 

Thanks, 
Jane 

These days, people seem to feel compelled to hastily over explain, perhaps in hopes that their story will seem believable. It should be noted this tends to be the case whether or not one is actually sick.

Hi all, 

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, I woke up with this RAGING headache. Like seriously, I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack truck. I couldn’t sleep all night, I’m just exhausted. Like, I can’t even. Also, my son/daughter woke up with a fever! Oh my god! Man, when it rains, it pours. I need to stay home, but I’ll be checking in as often as humanly possible. SO sorry for the inconvenience! Oh my god! See you tomorrow (fingers crossed oh my god)! 

Thanks,
Jane