I’m now able to work out in silence. Finally.

Years ago, I could gather the mental fortitude to train only if I had music pounding through my eardrums. If I forgot earbuds, I’d either trudge through some seriously half-assed effort or call the whole thing off entirely.

Six or eight months ago, I started listening to podcasts. Motivating ones that ruminate on fitness, but also mindset, gratitude and perspective. To my surprise, the talking heads propelled me through workouts, and I’d leave the gym feeling energized mentally—which was only sometimes the case with tunes blasting in my ears.

Then, one recent day, I decided I didn’t want to listen to anything. No garbage top 40 songs that are near and dear to my heart. No guest speakers discussing the importance of positivity. I wanted silence. I wanted to close my eyes and feel my muscles doing the work. The occasional cramp in my right calf or the simmering burn in a quad. I wanted to create a connection between what my body was doing and how my mind controlled it. I wanted to let thoughts wander free, wherever that led.

Since that day, earbud-less workouts have become more common in rotation. Some days, I still want Lana and Lizzo by my side. Other days, podcasts. But the absence of noise in an obnoxiously loud world is without fail the most grounding sound of all.