For people who didn’t grow up with social media, like me, it’s still a weird thing. Probably always will be. It invites you to know someone without knowing them, to grab glimpses of fleeting moments in their lives but never the whole thing.

Social media also has the ability to make things awkward. There are no rules. Without rules, proper etiquette becomes vague and elusive. The girl I pass in the hall at work every few days, I mean, we don’t say hi. We might smile, maybe. Yet we follow each other on social. Her cat died a couple weeks ago. She posted about it. It was sad. I love cats. I know what it’s like to be friends with a cat. I’m sorry her cat died. It felt weird to “like” a post that was created singularly to communicate that her cat died, but ok, in a show of support and sympathy, I liked it. (??)

This morning, I saw her in the kitchen. Just the two of us. I’m filling my water bottle, she’s washing her breakfast bowl. Water rushing, our lone soundtrack. Is it weird to say, “I’m really sorry about your cat”? I guess it’s even weirder to refer to the cat by name. Is it necessary to preface with, “I saw your post…”? Are those wasted words that make the whole thing even more awkward?

I didn’t say anything. It’s possible that someday I’ll regret the moments I didn’t say anything, when I knew someone was experiencing pain, and all I could worry about was whether I was being weird.